s-squishysquibbles:

i wanted to write a list of like tidbits about aromantics for non-aros writing aro characters but it ended up just being a thought list about being aromantic lmao

anyway:

• i see people ask “is it ok if i put my aro character into a relationship beforehand and then figure out theyre aro later?” and the answer is YES, that is very common for aro people to do and so long as they are clearly aro once the relationship is over its a-ok
• actually using the word “aromantic” to describe ur character directly is also great for visibility/confirmation sake and would stop people from being like “well theyre not REALLY aro,”
• theres a million different ways to be aro and we all different- some aros are very romance repulsed and disgusted by everything to do with pda while others are completely fine with it and totally dig platonic kisses and that kinda thing
• speaking of romance repulsion: if you have a romance repulsed character its a lot more than just “kissing is icky!! x-P” romo-repulsed aros can get nauseous, anxious, or just generally uncomfortable when seeing pda and not want to be around it and theres nothing wrong with that. dont write romance-repulsed aros like children not wanting to catch cooties. 
• aros come in loads of different shapes and sizes, dont limit aro characters to lanky white dudes
• most characters that can be read as aro are either your sherlockian kinda guys (arrogant and douchey,) or characters that arent human (robots/aliens) and its exhausting; seeing an aro character break this trend would be top notch
• aromantic and asexual are two different things. i cannot stress this enough because of how frequently they are portrayed as the same thing. someone who doesn’t feel romantic attraction is aromantic, whereas someone who doesn’t feel sexual attraction is asexual. you can be both or you can be just one, but they are not terms you can use interchangeably. 
• aros can also be aesthetically attracted to people, sexually attracted to people, or develop squishes on them (platonic crushes)
• aromantic in itself tends to double up with other sexualities; like, a bisexual aromantic would be someone who feels sexual attraction to multiple genders, just not romantic
• one of the most common things with aro people is an inability to distinguish friendly and romantic feelings for a person and/or not understanding which gestures are deemed “romantic,” which obvi can lead to a lot of confusion
• aro people are not broken; stories that end in a character who seems to have no desire for romance suddenly ~discovering themself~ or ~learning to be human~ are really, really hard to stomach. romance is not the end-all goal for us and no one needs to to “fix” themself. 
• platonic relationships are just as important as romantic relationships, but they are not a substitute and they shouldnt have to be. while some of us do “romantic” things with our friends, its still a platonic relationship.

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